Her heart cries out
Tell me you love me
She does not know
Could she know
But not believe
Does she hope
Because she believes
But does not know
How can I tell
My love that she is loved
The words are simple to say
I love you
I love you
But who knows
What they really mean
Let me tell you
What I have seen in you
And you can listen
And feel if these are
Things that a man will see
In a woman that he loves
She walked off the plane; looked at me with some apprehension; smiled with pleasure and watched closely to see how I was responding to her. Before I saw her, I did not know whether the face in my heart was the face I was going to see. I knew from our talking and writings that she was the person I knew and cared for all those years ago. I saw some black women coming off the plane and asked myself could that be Peggy; could she have changed so much; then I saw her floating down the ramp; I saw her wrapped in the colours of Africa, I knew her immediately and knew just with a look at her face that she was the Peggy I knew so many years ago. This was my friend; what I saw was that wonderful innocent face, the open child part of her. I could feel her slipping into my soul and knew that she would soon feel me in her’s. I felt that my heart was so big that I could wrap it around her and let her feel all of me there with her, caring for her, enjoying her, who she was, who she is, who she is yet to be. And so I did, I wrapped her in my soul, feeling with all the delicacy I could, how she was responding; it felt she just opened herself to me. She gave me her mind, her heart, her soul, and her body. She gave with trust even though it was clear that she was giving some things for the first time and there was apprehension, but she gave her openness with the sense that she could trust me not to hurt her. And I explored all that she gave me with carefulness, so that these most special gifts, were received with a sense of privilege that another soul would give so much to me, and were not damaged in the sharing and were acknowledged for the specialness that they were. I saw the competence of her, her struggles and so many victories, often not recognized by her for what they are because she puts aside feelings of pride for the humbleness of the ordinary human being she sees herself to be. I hope I succeeded in helping her see some of the greatness that lies within her that can be seen and acknowledged without making her superior to others; I saw a wonderfully innocent child still able to be charmed by the world, still open to the mystery of life, still open to letting the silence of the deep places enter her spirit and let her feel the specialness of life; I saw a partner who would walk step by step with me into new experiences and into the mundane tasks of life; I saw a mother who would like to care for me at times; I saw someone who loved me, enjoyed who I was, who would not sit next to me for long before she would move over and snuggle in, who would reach out to take my hand because she wanted to hold it; I saw someone who committed herself to and enjoyed so fully anything new I suggested to her, showed her, or took her to; I saw an adult who talked to the adult in me, person-to-person, equal-to-equal; I saw someone who repeatedly faced things she was embarrassed about in herself and overcame the embarrassment. Day-by-day she conquered and shared and we embraced each other, walked through every embarrassment, laughed and sang and, in every moment, found ways to get closer and closer. At the end of time, we were deep friends, companions who knew we could walk through all things in life together and cry, laugh, and sing our songs together, sharing the specialness of each other’s life, and loving each other ‘til the setting of the sun.
I love you.
May the truth we lived, tell you the meaning of these words.
John